I love my job as cocktail pianist at the Perisher Manor Hotel during the winter ski season. I play the music I enjoy and get to meet some very interesting people too! People say I’m very lucky to have a job that I actually enjoy. And I am, but let me say, and not in a shy way that it’s taken thirty years of the best and worst of gigs to develop the repertoire to keep all the customers satisfied. There’s a saying in the professional music scene that says; “out there every one thinks they’re a star”. Billie Joel in his song “Piano Man” sums it up nicely with the line from the barman; “I could be a movie star, if I could get out of this place”.

Me on the job!

I recall one evening a couple of years ago arriving to find a tangle of wires and a laptop sprawled presumptuously all over the grand piano. Oh no, I thought, here’s another one of those types holding down a day job who thinks he’s a musical genius but hasn’t got the courage to leave the comfort zone. It turned out to be one of the in house guests. He was a surgeon raking in big money doing liposuction treatments on big ladies with big purses. He’d been to a summer jazz school course and rather fancied himself as something of a star on the saxophone. Not being one to dampen enthusiasm I let him play a little but the sound was so atrocious that I had to pull him up short for fear of driving all the customers out. Work on your tuning I proffered. A strangely confused look wafted across his face when I offered to slip into surgery and do a couple of quick ops for him.

By complete contrast an unassuming and totally non-obnoxious fellow by the name of Phil Dutton came by the piano last week to enjoy the music and have a chat. Despite the fact that he had a bachelor of music in composition he was trying to tell me that he wasn’t much of a player. It also transpired that one of his compositions was chosen for performance during the Millennium celebrations. Simply called “Piano Sonata” by Phil Dutton it was first published by Alberts Publishing in 1975. Gee, I exclaimed, it took 25 years to get the call! Lucky you weren’t hanging out for the money. But this is usual in a country that seems to have a problem supporting musicians with vital career saving cash. “Give the band a beer and a sandwich, they’ll do the gig, they’re having fun.” How many times have I heard that utterance from some red- faced buffoon. Even some of the major Jazz festivals around the country are calling for musicians to participate in their festivals and promote their towns for no fee. One major Jazz Festival even requires every musician to pay $5 to register for

the dubious honour of performing under difficult conditions for free! And not even a beer and sandwich is provided. The question of travel and accommodation expenses is always left to the individual to organize and pay such is the lure of public recognition. Which reminds me of an in joke which you’ll probably now appreciate; “Did you hear about the Irish jazz musician? He was in it for the money!

There is something intrinsically immoral with this burgeoning practice of blatant exploitation of musicians. It probably explains why the masses of “can’t give up their day job, honkers and pluckers” are dragging the standards to an all time low. I did hear that despite a record number of bands this year, the money was way down at one major festival in particular. Is it any surprise? Who wants to hear some old drunk trying to rediscover a battered cornet that’s been sitting on top of the wardrobe for the last 20 years. I feel I must point out that the Thredbo Jazz Festival is truly professional in it’s musical standards probably because it pays all the musicians a professional fee and also provides good accommodation. BRAVO!

I’ve often wondered how the increasing thousands of music graduates being churned out by our music schools and universities faired when it came to actually earning a living in their chosen area of study given the scarcity of real gigs and the demise of session work. I discount music teaching because that’s not being a musician is it? It’s being a teacher. I asked Phil Dutton about this. He told me that as a student he shared a house with two brothers; Ian Watchhorn, who made lutes of exquisite craftsmanship and Peter Watchhorn, who made harpsichords. “I learned the specialized skill of tuning harpsichords which kept me very well because I was the man for the Opera House, ABC and Conservatorium. Harpsichords are not generally tuned to the equal temperament system like your regular piano, so that means extra tunings when the key signature changes. Sometimes I’d have to be on hand during an actual performance for a quick tune between pieces.”

So what are you up to now I asked, expecting to hear something like, composing film scores for the silver screen. “I’m a team leader for Tooheys Brewery.” My jaw dropped, my mouth dried, and without the slightest hesitation he said, “let me get you one of our newest products, a Heineken.” And very nice too! What a super chap.

PS. Pianists out there who would like to have a copy of Phil Dutton’s ”PIANO SONATA” published 1975 can contact the Fisher Library at Sydney Uni.

Paul Dion